Unleashed
by Temperance
Summary: SLASH. Basically this is the episode Unleashed (5:3) with me adding slash to it. So it's spoilery for people who haven't seen the episode. Pairing is Angel and Wesley. COMPLETE
1. A Walk In The Park

Wesley rode his shiny new motor bike, a gift from Wolfram & Hart, down the road at breakneck speeds. He was supposed to be on his way to meet Angel and everyone else but he was taking the long way. He told himself he was being cautious in case someone was following him, he was being safe. But really, deep down inside, he knew he was stalling, wasting time so he could think. Think about Angel.

Angel.

They had been sleeping together for almost a month. 'Sleeping together', that was a polite way to describe what they did to each other. Saying they 'slept' together was misleading since Angel never stayed after he finished, they never fell asleep with one another. The first time Angel had come to Wesley it had frightened and confused him. Wesley had been sleeping and as he tossed from one side to the other he saw Angel. Angel stood at the side of Wesley's bed and, for a split second, Wesley was sure that Angel had a white pillow in his hands. In that moment Wesley saw Angel lung at him but when Wesley snapped into action, sitting up quickly, he saw that Angel didn't have a pillow and hadn't moved.

Wesley asked if something was wrong but Angel didn't say anything. He just slowly slunk down onto the bed until he was sitting next to Wesley, his back to him. Wesley wondered if he should do something, say something, at least go and put more clothes on than just the thin boxers he slept in.

"You remember when you first came to me?" Angel asked softly.

For a moment Wesley thought Angel might not have actually said it, that he'd only imagined it.

"What?" Wesley sputtered just as softly.

Wesley didn't know what Angel was saying or what he was expected to contribute to the conversation. The only thing he was certain of was that he should be wearing more clothes, he'd been debating whether or not to get up and pull on a pair of jeans when Angel spoke again.

"When you first came to the office to work for me, and it was just us and Cordy... we were a family then..." Angel let his voice trail off.

So this was about Cordellia. Cordellia was a subject Wesley could work with, even if it was a sore subject. At least he had a vague idea of how to make the situation better, if only temporarily. Well, gloss it over enough to get Angel through till morning where Wesley would recommend he speak to someone better qualified to listen to him bare his soul. For now he could just reassure Angel they were doing everything they could for Cordellia and that would get Angel off of his bed, in the middle of the night, while Wes was practically naked underneath his light gray bed sheet.

"Angel, we are doing everything we can for Cordellia-"

"Back then I had to keep reassuring you that I wanted you to stay, that I wasn't going to fire you for every little slip up. You remember?"

Wesley nodded and then felt silly because Angel still had his back to him.

"Angel, maybe I should..." Wesley let his thought trail off. He finished it a thousand different ways in his head; get some clothes on, call Fred, call Lorne, call Gunn, make some tea, turn on a light. Everything he wanted to say he didn't, couldn't, bring himself to say. He didn't want Angel to know how uncomfortable he was with Angel so close to him. Wesley was afraid Angel might find it insulting, which it probably should be. 'Sorry Angel, don't want to get to close to you. I'm afraid you might freak out and try to kill me. I'm not sure why but, could you maybe move away?' Yeah, that would go over well.

"You were so clingy. Always touching me and hugging me and you used to get misty eyed… and you were clumsy. I was sure you were going to fall and break something. A lamp or a vase... you," Angel chuckled softly. "But you're different now. You don't think you need to please me, to please others. You're stronger than you used to be. You used to be my faithful servant." Angel paused and sighed loudly. "When you said that to me it meant more than I... than you could know."

Wesley didn't know if he should speak or let Angel continue. Angel seemed content to just keep talking and if all he needed was someone to listen to him then Wesley would gladly be that person.

"I said you had to make yourself useful, remember?" Angel said glancing slightly over his shoulder.

Was this the part where Wesley was expected to say something? Wesley still didn't know where this conversation had come from or where it was going, how could he be expected to comment?

"You made yourself too useful," Angel began again and turned his head away. "Too valuable, too much an intricate part of the team. Without you we weren't family. We couldn't lose you... not after everything... not after Cordellia and then... Connor." Wesley's mouth dropped open to protest, they didn't know a 'Connor', but even in the sparse light that filtered through his windows he could see Angel tense so he snapped his mouth shut again. "We couldn't lose you too," Angel repeated as if this clarified the bizarre conversation.

"You haven't lost me," Wesley said quietly. Lacking of anything better to say. Angel laughed but the sound was painful, less like laughter and more like desolation. It was perhaps the saddest, coldest thing Wesley had ever heard.

"I lost you a long time ago Wes, you just don't know it." Angel said and finally turned to face Wesley.

Angel looked Wesley in the eyes for a long moment before Angel let his eyes roam over Wesley's bare chest and sparsely covered legs. Wesley felt his cheeks get hot under the scrutiny of Angel's gaze. He moved slightly wanting to cover himself more but only succeeding in exposing more of himself, more of his legs where his boxers had ridden up his thigh.

"I, uh, I'm still… Angel," Wesley stuttered uselessly. He didn't know what he wanted to say, he didn't know what he was going to do, and he had no idea how to finish whatever lame attempt at a sentence he'd just made.

Angel reached over and touched Wesley's knee lightly. Wesley's first reaction was to jump away but he fought it. Angel slid his hand up Wesley's leg to his thigh and then Wesley did jump away. He jumped off of the bed and stood three steps away.

"Um, Angel," Wesley began but before he could get any other words out of his mouth Angel was standing in front of him. _Too close_, his brain told him, all his brain would tell him, _Angel's too close_. Wesley attempted to move back a step but before his foot even left the ground Angel pinned him against the wall. Wesley was frightened, hoped that Angel couldn't tell how much, but with vampire senses he probably did. "Angel?" Wesley breathed.

Angel closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose deeply. Wesley shivered. He wasn't cold but he couldn't stop himself from shaking in the fine layer of fear that pulsed through him at the tiny action. He couldn't figure out what had just happened. Wesley's brain kept playing and replaying the conversation and their actions and then what was happening now and the two didn't make sense together. They didn't fit.

But Angel and he did. Angel moved his body until it was flush against Wesley's, until Wesley could feel every part of Angel in exactly the same places on him. They fit together, and that made Wesley shiver again.

"I wanna hear you say it Wes," Angel said opening his eyes and looking into Wesley's.

"I'm sorry," Wesley asked and cursed himself for the tremor that ran through his voice.

"Say," Angel started but stopped abruptly. Wesley hoped he didn't look as confused as he felt but, knowing himself as he did, he suspected that he looked just as confused if not more so. However, Angel had been right earlier, Wesley had changed.

"What do you want me to say Angel?" Wesley asked hoping it would end whatever confrontation they seemed to be having.

Angel opened his mouth as if to tell him but stopped again. Wesley was quickly reaching the end of his tether with this scenario and was calculating in his head whether or not he could fight Angel off if he had to. But all of Wesley's thoughts were pushed out of his head when Angel leaned forward and kissed Wesley on the lips.

It was a tentative kiss at first, especially since Wesley froze in place and didn't move. But once Angel noticed that Wesley didn't move to push him away he kissed him firmer and soon began nibbling on Wesley's lips, trying to will Wesley into the kiss. But Wesley didn't know what to do. He'd kissed girls, and one boy back at school in England, before but kissing Angel never crossed his mind. Now that it was happening he found he couldn't remember how a kiss worked, what his role should be.

Then, as quickly as Angel had started, he pulled away. Angel looked at Wesley as if searching his eyes for something. "I said I'd never forgive you," Angel whispered, "but I ―we... there is no team without you. We always needed you, we kept coming back to you, we ―I still needed you."

Wesley wanted, felt like he should, respond to what Angel was saying but he didn't really understand what Angel was saying.

"I'm," Wesley started, "glad to be of service."

Angel chuckled again and put a small amount of distance between them, not a respectable amount but a little at least. "I'm coming back tomorrow," Angel stated.

Angel didn't even try to disguise it as a request. It was a statement, he was going to do it and the only way Wesley could stop him was to rescind Angel's invitation and they both knew that Wesley wouldn't do that. But Angel waited for Wesley to at least nod, pretend he actually had a say in the matter.

Angel left quickly after that. Wesley had been confused, very confused; he had liked kissing Angel, liked that Angel wanted to kiss him. Even though Wesley thought Angel was straight, and that he was himself for that matter, but Wesley liked kissing Angel.

Angel did, indeed, return the next night and the night after that and the one after that. Some nights Angel would talk before he started kissing Wesley, and touching Wesley, and sometimes he wouldn't. Every time Angel spoke it made no sense. He talked about fights and battles between them that had never happened and a rift that formed between them that could never be repaired and it all confused Wesley but he stuck through it hoping it would all sort itself out if he waited long enough.

Soon, a lot sooner than Wesley would have liked, they began 'sleeping' together. Angel would take him fast and hard and then leave quickly and quietly. It was never passionate, sometimes Angel was excessively rough as if he was punishing Wesley, for what Wesley didn't know but he'd let Angel do it and then Wesley would cover the bruises in the morning. Wesley wanted to tell Angel to stay afterwards but was afraid of the effect that simple desire might have on Angel. So it had gone on, for nearly a month, where Angel came to Wesley's room at night, where they'd have sex, then Angel would leave.

When had it started? _Right after the necromancer incident_, Wesley's brain supplied for him. That was when it had started. It was that night, actually, that Wesley had woken to find Angel at his bedside. Wesley knew he cared for Angel, cared for him more than he thought he should considering it seemed like he was just a warm body for Angel to fill. But Wesley sort of liked their secret affair, it felt oddly familiar, he hated that he didn't meant anything to Angel.

Wesley felt that he had wasted as much time as he dare and turned his bike towards the woods on the far end of town. He still didn't quite know how he was supposed to act around Angel. He assumed that he should act just like he had before but it felt wrong to pretend nothing had changed. It was more difficult to pretend nothing was different when Angel sometimes looked at him sometimes, in that certain way, a way that suggested he might actually care about Wesley. Wesley also found it easier to pretend if they didn't touch in anyway. If he had to touch Angel he might not be able to control himself, or worse, he'd fool himself into thinking that Angel cared for him more than just a, what was that saying, fuck buddy.

He pulled up where they were all supposed to be meeting and realized that he was the last one to arrive. He parked his motor bike at the end of a long succession of pretty new shiny and expensive cars. Wesley turned off the bike, put out the kickstand, jumped off of the bike, and removed the helmet. Fred made a 'be quiet' sign at him while he walked over to her. Fred began waving a metal detector over him and Lorne continued their ridiculous cover story about a picnic, as if they'd ever had picnics, and asked if anyone wanted some Mu shoo. Wesley joined in asking for plum sauce until Fred said he was clean.

"Nobody's listening," Fred said.

"You were late," Angel told Wesley.

There was a look in Angel's eyes when he said it, maybe just the way he looked directly into Wesley's eyes until a couple of seconds after Wesley answered, that made it seem like he actually cared. Like Angel was really worried that Wesley might have been in danger. But, Wesley rationalized; Angel just might have thought Wesley was consorting with the senior partners.

"Thought I was being followed," Wesley said pointedly.

If Angel did think he was working with the senior partners he didn't want to give him an excuse. Although telling Angel and everyone else that Wesley was driving around thinking about the twisted relationship he and Angel were having did sound like a more plausible excuse.

"I get that we have to be careful, but feels weird hiding from the company we're supposed to be running," Gunn said.

"We're not hiding, we're being safe," Angel countered.

Wesley thought that it sounded suspiciously similar but knew when he should be keeping his mouth shut. Sometimes when Angel came to him at night it was like he was punishing Wesley for disobeying him during the daytime. Wesley learned when to keep his mouth shut, arguing with Angel wouldn't bode well for his still healing bruises.

"There are factions at Wolfram & Hart, people who want to see us destroyed." Angel finished.

Wesley was almost certain that Angel looked directly at him when he said that but he wasn't going to think more of it than Angel addressing each member of the group in turn.

"But still, it's not like everyone there's evil," Fred interrupted him. "I mean, we work with these people. Some of 'em I see more than I see you guys, at least lately, anyway."

"And you think you can trust him," Wesley asked angrily. He glanced over at Angel from the corner of his eye. Angel was looking at the ground. Wesley was in trouble, he knew it, could tell just by the way that Angel was standing. Talking back to Angel was one thing, but practically announcing that he still wanted Fred and was jealous of anyone else who was around her was something far worse. It was like broadcasting to Angel that Wesley didn't really care about him or something. It was the most hypocritical thing Wesley had ever seen but these were the rules and he had just broken a major one. "Them." Wesley tried to cover but it was a lame attempt.

"What?" Fred asked.

Wesley still hadn't let Angel move out of his peripheral vision; he knew he was digging himself into a deeper hole.

"These... people, the ones you're spending so much time with," Wesley said and turned his back to Angel. Angel was rocking on his feet, Wesley was in too deep to care. Wesley had started this; he had broken the rules and was currently digging himself into a deep hole so why not just finish it. "Knox, for example." He kept his back to them all, avoiding having to turn around and look at Angel. If Wesley had though that Angel tortured him before he knew he was in for so much worse the next time Angel showed up.

"Uh, we're, you know, heh heh, friendly, but he's under me... or, I'm on top of him. Professionally." Fred stuttered.

Wesley didn't know if her stuttering meant that she was affectionate towards Knox or if she was just flabbergasted by the question. The tiny second that Wesley had chanced to turn and look over his shoulder the look he got from Angel made him turn back around quickly. Angel was angry, very angry. Wesley didn't know if he should have taken that for a good sign, a sign that he maybe actually felt something for Wesley more than just a hole to fill, or as a bad sign.

"All I'm saying is he's not evil," Fred concluded.

"I think we're all agreed that the senior partners are," Angel cut in. He sounded angry; he spoke with the type of growl that Wesley usually heard in the bedroom, and when Angel talked next he looked right at Wesley. "They put us in charge for a reason what we need to know is... why?"

"We've only been there a month," Gunn stated.

"Turns out running a company doesn't leave a lot of time for, you know, covert ops." Fred said.

"Yeah, I'm up to my horns schmoozin' starlets and boozin' hipsters, Angel." Lorne quasi-complained.

Angel was staring at Wesley. What did Angel expect Wesley to say? Something like; 'You know what I do Angel, you're with me day and night, remember?'

"What about Gunn," Wesley decided to say.

"What about Gunn?" Gunn asked.

"It's... well, what they put in your head. All that law knowledge and whatever. Maybe you know something. More than the rest of us." Fred explained for Gunn.

"The alteration to your mental capacity-" Wesley began.

"My capacity's the same as it's always been. The good doctor just revved up some idlin' brain cells, set 'em in motion." Gunn said.

"It's a legitimate concern," Angel stepped in. Angel understood, sometimes it was eerie the way Angel seemed to know Wesley more than Wesley knew himself. "You gave them access to-"

"I made a deal. We all did. Seems like I'm the only one who's willing to accept that. Everybody here got something out of this." Gunn said testily.

"Fear, mistrust, a great motor pool," Angel said.

"I got the Nancy Sinatra collection," Lorne said, "original 45's."

"I did get a rather nice pen," Wesley said finally, "sterling. Has my name on it. Which is not the point at all."

"No, the point is what, that I'm some spy for the senior partners?" Gunn asked angrily.

"Nobody's saying that," Angel said.

"Just thinking it," Gunn snit.

This was quickly turning into a bitch fest and not the group meeting they had hoped it would. This isn't what Wesley had wanted when he'd agreed to come along.

"No, Charles..." Fred cooed.

"The point is," Angel said trying to break the tension, "the senior partners have a plan for us, and if we're not prepared-"

"Angel, it's not like we don't want to be ready. We just have, you know, plates... big, heaping, full plates." Fred explained.

"Between running our departments, handling clients, dealing with Spike-" Wesley started.

"Spike," Angel said loudly, "is a distraction. As soon as he's released from his ties from Wolfram & Hart-"

"That could take years," Wesley said interrupting Angel.

"Using the amulet to destroy the Hellmouth, it turned Spike into-" Fred began.

"A spook," Lorne finished for her.

"Well, h-he's more than a ghost," Fred explained. "He's something unique."

"Regardless, whatever binds him-" Wesley began.

"Can I borrow your pen?" Angel asked him suddenly.

"Huh? Uhh, sure," Wesley relented.

Wesley took out his pen; Angel took the pen and walked off into the woods without a second glance or an explanation. Angel didn't look at Wesley when he strode past and for a brief second Wesley thought Angel was only taking the pen to punish him. When Wesley had talked about the pen earlier he had sounded like he liked it a great deal. But there were worse things Angel could do to punish Wesley and if all he was going to do was take his pen then so be it.

"What should we do?" Fred asked speaking for everyone.

They all looked towards Wesley. It was an unspoken rule; if Angel were not around to dole out the orders then Wesley was the second in command. Wesley was the one who would fill in, in Angel's absence.

Wesley sighed and tore his eyes away from the edge of the woods where Angel had disappeared. "Go home. I'll stay here and wait for Angel to come back. Leave your mobiles on, if he needs you I'll get in touch." Wesley said easily.

They nodded and each walked towards their respective vehicles. Gunn nodded curtly at Wesley before driving away and Lorne smiled before doing the same. Fred stood at the door to her car and looked back at Wesley as if she were torn between leaving and staying to keep him company. Half of Wesley wanted her to stay but the thought of what Angel might do if he came back and found Wesley chatting her up was a horrifying one.

Wesley tried to reassure her with a big, fake, jubilant smile. She smiled feebly back at him, got into her car, started it up, and drove away. Wesley let out a soft sigh of relief. He didn't know if what he wanted more, to be with Fred or to be with Angel, and the confusion was driving him crazy. He liked Fred, had liked Fred, for some time. Angel, well Angel was a new feeling. He had always thought of Angel as a friend, if not family but now... now he felt that he would do anything to please Angel. Even if that meant staying far away from Fred, even if it meant turning Fred down _if_ she offered herself to him.

Wesley heard crunching coming from the woods and looked over in time to see Angel come storming out. He paused and looked around noticing that everyone else was gone. "Where'd everyone go?" Angel asked annoyed.

"I thought," Wesley began and stuttered hopelessly then regained his composure, "I told them to go home but to be on the ready if you needed them."

Angel stared at Wesley, his dark brown eyes hiding whatever emotions he might be feeling from Wesley. Wesley dropped his eyes down to the ground, a response trained in him from his father, so he didn't see Angel when he swooped over to him. He didn't even know Angel was moving until Angel had Wesley pined against the picnic table and was inches away from his face.

"You thought," Angel repeated his previous statement.

"No," Wesley said stupidly.

The corner of Angel's mouth twitched up into a cold smirk. Angel's head dipped closer to Wesley's and Wesley closed his eyes, ready for Angel to claim him again as only Angel had ever been able to do, even before he had ever kissed Wesley. But the kiss never came. Instead Angel stepped back until there was at least two feet of space in between them.

"A girl," Angel said quickly. Wesley felt his cheeks burn. Angel didn't want to kiss him because he'd found a girl?! "She was being chased by a werewolf. I called the firm, they're sending a team down to come and get the one I killed but the girl ran away."

A noble cause. Wesley told himself he could handle being snubbed for a noble cause. "Should I call everyone back to Wolfram & Hart?" Wesley asked slipping easily back into work mode.

"Yes," Angel said and took another step away from Wesley and closer to his car, "and Wesley." Angel paused and Wesley felt he should acknowledge that he had heard Angel so Wesley nodded. "I won't come to you again."

Angel turned, walked quickly to his car, got in, and left Wesley standing there dumbfounded. If this was part of Angel's punishment for Wesley he had to hand it to Angel, it hurt. It sliced through him in a way he didn't know was possible. Even after Virginia, hell, even when the one girl in his college, that Wesley had almost married, said it was over it didn't hurt this bad.

Wesley stood there so long that he saw the lights shining from the pickup team's flashlights. One of them even came up to him and asked him to leave, or he might have told him he was going to kill him but Wesley wasn't paying attention. He was numb save for the burning, aching, void inside him. He called Fred, Gunn, and Lorne and was vaguely aware of telling them to meet up at Wolfram & Hart for a situation report. He made three identical calls and couldn't remember what was said during either of them.


	2. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

**A/N:** Danke for all of the reviews. I tried to get extremely far in this story before I posted it so fear not, it will end… Mwhahahaha mwhahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha ha ha *cough* er, this story will one day be complete. :D And now, on with the show.

* * *

Why Do I Love You?

Strong, vise like stone arms wrapped around Jacob's body, stopping his momentum as he sailed through the air. Casually the arms tossed him backwards, away from the cliff. Jacob landed on his side, skidding to a halt, and then bound to his feet preparing for a fight. Edward crouched across from him, mimicking his attack pose, but as soon as Jacob recognized him his anger melted away and Jacob straightened immediately.

"Stupid careless mongrel," Edward growled. "Do you have any idea what would have happened if you'd died?"

'_Barely even a drop_,' Jacob thought smugly, '_I wouldn't have felt a thing_.'

Edward growled, reading Jacob's thoughts, but relaxed his pose. "You need to be more careful. If something had happened to you… _Bella_ would be heartbroken."

The sun had set, Jacob wasn't sure when, and the rare break in the clouds allowed the unfiltered moonlight to beam down on Edward's skin. The pale light made Edward even lighter, making his skin luminescent. He was perfect, Jacob realized, the perfect lure. His skin was beautiful, smooth, opaque; his thin lipped smile was the darkest shade of violet, his golden hair the color of sunrise, his long equine nose, slender, straight. The only flaw being the acidic scent radiating from him, burning Jacob's nostrils painfully. Edward frowned and took a step backwards, away from Jacob, towards the bluff.

'_Can't I have any thoughts to myself?_' Jacob thought sullenly.'_This isn't easy for me, you know_?'

"It's not exactly a walk in the park for me," Edward said. Jacob huffed and Edward sighed, his shoulders slumping forward dolefully. "You were going to try to fix this, you were going to try and stop it, can you?"

'_You were listening_?' Jacob wondered. Had he thought that when he was near Edward or back when he was in La Push? '_How long have you been listening to me_?'

"Not long," Edward answered. "You didn't stop it then?"

'_Would I be here if I had_?' Jacob thought morosely.

"I suppose not," Edward said.

Edward sighed loudly and stared at the ground, giving Jacob time to appraise him properly. Edward was lean, with the hint of muscles pulling at his clothes and he was tall, not as tall as Jacob but who was? His eyes, even being an unnatural shade of topaz, were absolutely stunning, even in the dark. Even his scent had gotten better, less acidic, easier to deal with. Jacob thought it might have been dulling his sense of smell but he could still smell everything else. He could smell tuna in the water below, the herd of deer a couple of miles to his left, Seth and Leah as they raced towards him―

Jacob whole body tensed and he froze. Edward's face registered what Jacob assumed was an equal amount of fear to his own but in an instant Edward had it concealed behind a mask of stone. Jacob could hear them now, now that he wasn't so absorbed in admiring Edward, hear Seth and Leah in his head. He could see what they saw, feel what they felt. The forest whipped around them, blurring into a mass of dark green in their speed. They were talking about him, he realized, about everything Jacob had just thought. They discussed splitting up, one coming to intercept him the other going to gather the pack. They were disgusted, horrified, and afraid for Jacob. They were worried about whatever the vampires had done, wondering how they'd cracked the secret of imprinting so that it could be used against the pack. How better to defeat them than to tie Jacob to one of their own? Seth and Leah were running full tilt; it wouldn't be long before they made it to the bluff.

'_That's right buddy_,' Seth thought optimistically, '_don't worry, we'll be there in no time_.'

Before the thought had fully formed in Jacob's mind he was human and moved closer to Edward. Edward's eyes locked on his own and bored into his skull. "You need to go," Jacob said forcefully.

"What about―"

"Don't worry about the damned treaty," Jacob snarled. "I'll make sure it still stands. You haven't done anything wrong." Edward looked like he wanted to argue with Jacob, the dark cloud of emotion that crossed his face a warning, but he glanced worriedly over Jacob's shoulder and whatever argument he'd begun in his head was silenced. "Go," Jacob demanded.

Without a word Edward stepped backwards, off of the cliff. Jacob watched as he fell gracefully, bounding elegantly from jutting rock to jutting rock until he reached the bottom. Without a backwards glace Edward raced along the ground until he was out of sight. Jacob turned back to face the forest, he could hear Seth and Leah gaining on him, and quickly phased back. Once in his animal form Leah and Seth played through his memory as he told Edward to leave. They felt his desire to save Edward, to get him away from any impending danger, the revulsion clear in their minds. Leah and Seth reached the cliff and skidded to a halt, glaring at Jacob.

'_What the _hell _Jacob_?!' Leah demanded.

'_He can't help it_,' Seth said. '_When you imprint―_'

'_Shut _up_ Seth_!' Leah barked. '_You can't imprint on a Vampire, a male vampire! It makes no sense!_'

'_There's a reason_,' Jacob thought. '_It may not be clear now, or even make sense, but there's a reason that my life is for Edward_.'

Leah growled ferociously, a low, guttural snarl so feral Jacob had trouble believing it had come from her. She glared at Jacob, debating whether it was better to rip his throat out now or get Sam and let him do it. She decided on tattling and turned tail, heading back into the woods. Jacob sat and locked eyes with Seth, holding the young wolf's attention but not actually watching him. Soon _they_ would know, soon the whole pack would be in his head, digging through his memories, his feelings, and judging him. Soon he'd have to defend Edward, defend himself, and defend their… relationship, whatever it was or would be. He didn't want to leave the bluff, let them come to him; at least here Edward's scent remained.

It was all happening too fast, the imprinting, his pack finding out, soon they'd be upon him and he'd be all alone to face their onslaught. Edward may have been his whole world now but that didn't make him Edward's. Jacob would be whatever Edward needed of him, friend, confidant, slave, lover (even if he wasn't sure he wanted to), and they both knew it. Jacob knew it whole heartedly, because of that place, because he'd come to a bluff he'd never been to before despite living so close and found Edward there. He knew it because he had been drawn there, drawn to Edward, drawn by the part of Edward that was now a part of himself and would not be denied. Jacob's body and mind acted of their own volition now. Surely before he never would have encouraged Edward to leave, he never would have _allowed_ Edward to leave. Before he wouldn't have actually wanted Edward to leave, as though Edward's safety and wellbeing were more important than his own, and they were.

There had to be some way, a way to turn back time or erase the imprint altogether, go back to hating Edward Cullen.

'_Good_,' Seth added, '_keep thinking like that_.'

Seth meant it, meant for Jacob to fight but it was for naught, Jacob was gone. Even that brief moment of revulsion had cost him, had gripped his insides and squeezed them until they were exploding inside of him. Jacob couldn't fight it, this imprint was the North Atlantic Current and Jacob was feebly struggling against it. The Titanic was sinking to the depths beneath his feet and Jacob's weak doggy paddle wasn't keeping him afloat it was only tiring him out. A vacuum of pressure pulled him down, demanding he sink into submission, and everyone demanded he stay away. In the back of his mind, far away, Jacob could hear the scorn, feel the derision, in the rest of the pack but he ignored them. They couldn't feel what he felt, not really, they could stop listening to him, stop feeling what he felt, phase back into human form and forget. All Jacob had now was this need for Edward, he couldn't go back, and there was nothing to go back to.

'_It's just an imprint_,' Jacob thought glumly. '_It's not as though I'm in love with Edward, not like he's in love with me. He can't stand me, not even now._'

The others reached him, taking up defensive positions around him, blocking all exits but the high cliff behind him.

'_Be reasonable, Jacob_,' Sam started. Jacob snorted with laughter; clear even in his wolf form. As if reason was an achievable goal after imprinting. '_We'll talk to the elders, see if there's a way to reverse …_ this_. We'll fix this. I just need you to chill, have a little patience_.'

Jacob shook his head sharply in defiance and as soon as he did it Sam was on his feet and in Jacob's face. Sam was angry; Jacob could practically see it rolling off of Sam in waves. Jacob thought, idly, of jumping off of the cliff, wondering if he could make the elegant descent that Edward had, but quickly discarded the thought. Thinking of it brought Edward's escape to the forefront of his mind and soon they were all watching with him as he told Edward to leave, as Edward escaped, tainting his memory of the event with their anger.

'_You will go home_,' Sam ordered using the voice, '_you will _not_ speak with any of the bloodsuckers. You will not leave the Reservation under any circumstances._'

Jacob felt the weight of Sam's command on him and he let _the voice_ drain away his resistance. This felt like the best solution to his seemingly overwhelming problems. It was better not to think, not to have to think, not to have to try and fight against what was happening. It was so much easier to just blindly obey Sam's orders and let all his confusions melt away. In a fog Jacob felt himself raise, the pads of his feet moving over the ground pushing him away then pushing him faster, moving him quickly through the forest and away from the pack. Jacob allowed his mind to blank out, to move on automatic, and barely registered the revulsion the others felt at his robotic transformation. Soon they phased into human form, so they could speak in private, so they could be unburdened by his thoughts and feelings, and Jacob was alone.

Once they were gone there was nothing inside of Jacob, just a hollow numbness in his head, the sound of his paws as they impacted the hard earth, and the now constant tug on his consciousness, the small urge tugging on his awareness. It tried to pull Jacob's thoughts down a dark road, a road that he didn't want to travel, a road to Edward. Luckily, in his controlled stupor, Jacob's random thoughts of Edward lulled into a dull throb of ache. It was unbearable, Jacob decided, to have no control over his own actions. If it wasn't Edward's grasp on his mind it was Sam. Jacob had no control over his thoughts, his body, or his emotions. He hated it, hated having nothing left of himself for himself, no place for him to hide. He had no free will, no free thought, no free space in his mind. There was nowhere for Jacob to hide himself.

Jacob made it back to the reservation and onto his porch without being seen. He phased quickly and ducked inside, going straight to his room, his father didn't even stir in his bed. Jacob threw himself across his bed, ignoring the way is scraped the floor, thudded against the wall, and groaned in protest to his harsh treatment. There was no place left for him, no sacred space that was all his own. He tried desperately not to remember what he'd been told about imprinting, trying not to remember that the object of an imprint had little choice but to accept. With such love and devotion aimed right at them how could they resist, it was difficult to believe that one day Edward might feel for Jacob what Jacob felt for him. It was terrifying and, deep inside, exciting.

There had to be a reason why he'd imprinted on Edward, some sick cosmic joke Jacob wasn't in on. There had to be some way to reverse it, to pull back the last shred of personal self Jacob had and keep it safely hidden. All of those times he had tried to imprint on Bella, not really knowing what he had been asking for, he thought of how foolish he'd been. He'd thought it would connect them and erase Edward from her life and her heart. He had wanted it so badly. Now things had changed so drastically. Jacob's thoughts pulled towards Edward violently and he wondered absentmindedly if Edward was okay. Had he made it home safely? Was his pack out there now, planning an attack on the Cullens? Did Edward need anything, need _him_?

_**Sleep**_. The voice in Jacob's head ordered him and Jacob did, falling into an uneasy sleep easily.

That night was the first night Jacob dreamed of Edward Cullen. It started with the smallest of fragments from his memory; glimpses of Edward's face, his eyes, his smile, or his skin glittering in the moonlight. Over the following weeks it elevated drastically. Each day, as Jacob's longing for Edward went painfully unfulfilled, Jacob would grow increasingly anxious pacing his small room. By night his mind filled with images of Edward, so much so that Jacob often longed for sleep only to quell his need for Edward in some minute way. Things Jacob had only seen Edward do in his peripheral became the center of his unconscious mind's attention; the grace of Edward's movements, his lean musculature, his full head of copper hair, his thin lips, high cheek bones, equine nose, the care he always took with Bella. This, alternately, would lead his mind down other paths.

What if Edward just wanted to keep him as a pet, a play toy for him and his family? Even if Jacob knew that that was all Edward would want of him Jacob would still go, his need to make Edward happy too strong now. What if Jacob had to play nurse mate for Edward and Bella for the rest of her life or, if Edward decided to turn her, for the rest of eternity? Could he? Could he bear it or would he allow himself to grow old and die rather than continue to watch them together? Could he allow himself to die if Edward never would?

On some nights, nights when Jacob would wake with a start and a choked sob, he dreamt of kissing Edward. He dreamt of setting fire to Edward's cool skin with his touch, his lips, his tongue. He dreamt of pressing his bare body against Edward's, wondering if the difference in temperature would even them out. He dreamt of Edward's rock hard body above him, those ice cold lips kissing his feverish shoulder, Edward's sickly sweet breath ghosting over Jacob's skin, and the words that frightened Jacob into violent alertness, Edward's somber; _I love you_.

It had been nearly a month and nothing about Jacob's imprinting had gotten easier, things were only getting worse. After one week Jacob had been forbidden to phase after he'd connected to Leah and learned that Bella had been calling to get a hold of him. Frantic was the term Leah had used. Bella called every day, frantically. Jacob's first thought had been of Edward, of course, which is where Sam's problem began and ended. Was Edward using Bella to try and reach him? Had Edward told Bella about the imprinting, that he was furious and disgusted with Jacob, and she was calling to demand he explain himself? All of the thoughts and emotions he had been successfully hiding behind a wall in his mind after imprinting had suddenly burst free and Jacob had inadvertently dumped them into Leah's mind then from her to the pack. Every humiliating, paranoid, desperate, needy, devoted, manic thought he'd been repressing about Edward Cullen and every emotion attached to it all poured into their collective consciousness. Sam had pulled rank, again, and forbade Jacob from phasing unless Sam himself told him to. Two and a half weeks later and Jacob was going out of his mind with boredom. Every day it seemed like Sam had some new and ridiculous rule or some new gimmick to "break the trick of the false imprint", as the counsel said. Nothing worked and every day not seeing Edward, not knowing if he was okay, not being near him, hurt Jacob more.

Jacob stopped, mid pace through his small room, and turned towards the door. Rule number thirty-four: _do not leave your room during the day_, put in place when Bella had shown up at Jacob's house and demanded to speak with him. The rules were unbearable, no one came in and no one was allowed out. Jacob was a caged animal in a zoo no one wanted to visit. Why wouldn't they let him go? He _had_ to go, to leave, to see Edward. No one had disallowed Paul the right to come over and sit with Mary until she went to bed, day after day. Jacob inched towards the door, slowly, fighting against the voice's control. He moved determinedly, unwilling to spend another minute in his room alone.

_**Come to me… please.**_

Jacob's body shook with the urge to leave, to obey the silky smooth voice in his head, to do whatever Edward required of him, even if it was just his ghost in Jacob's head. Jacob didn't know if that voice had always been Edward's, it had only started after he'd imprint so it might have been, or if the recent weeks of separation had made it become Edward's voice out of Jacob's sheer desperation to be near Edward. Always it pleaded with Jacob. The voice begged Jacob to leave the house, to leave the reservation, to come to him. Always the urges were accompanied by images of random places around Forks or near the reservation. Most recently it had been the Cullen's estate, for an entire week nothing but the large house and visions of Edward's concerned face entered Jacob's mind.

Jacob reached out and touched the doorknob, feeling the pull of Sam's edict halting him from doing any more. All of Jacob's muscles burned with desire, needing to turn the knob, _wanting_ to turn the handle so badly but having none of the ability. Jerkily his hand constricted on the door knob while fighting Sam's command. Sam was his friend, his Alpha, and on some level Jacob knew he was probably right. Jacob understood that if it had been any other member of the pack that had imprinted on a vampire Jacob would agree with him. Jacob would advocate the same thing. But this was different, this was Jacob's life, and Jacob could not continue to feel so incomplete, not when completion was only a few miles away. Jacob gripped the door knob tighter, feeling the metal begin to dent in his palm, then in one supreme burst of head clearing energy he turned the knob and swung the door open and off its hinges.

Suddenly the rope around Jacob's neck was gone, Jacob no longer felt compelled to obey any of the orders Sam had given him, and the absolute, undiluted _need_ to be near his imprint ripped through him. Vaguely he saw Billy, Mary, and Paul as he ran through the house, simultaneously phasing and escaping the house _through_ the front door. Jacob padded to the edge of the forest then ran into it with a speed he hadn't known he possessed. He headed straight towards the Forks border. Knowing where Jacob was going, and why, would the others honor the treaty? None of the original conditions had been broken but did it still apply anymore? Didn't Jacob's imprinting and defection change everything? Jacob tried to listen to the pack, to eavesdrop on their plans, but he heard nothing. Surely they had phased, they had to be chasing him, but the only thoughts in his head were his own. His steady breathing filled his ears, the pace of his run, the silent glee from his inner Edward repeating; '_He's coming, he's coming_' over and over.

'_Yes I am_,' Jacob thought with no small sense of euphoria.

He was so excited, so engrossed in listening to the happiness of his inner Edward's voice, that he didn't notice as one of the others caught up to him. He didn't have time to react until after the long, sharp, hard teeth clamped down on his shoulder bringing him to the ground and it was too late. They tumbled and rolled over each other, the other wolf keeping his jaw clamped firmly on Jacob's skin. Once they were on the ground, instead of letting go, the other wolf shook his head ferociously, ripping Jacob's flesh further. Pain rippled through Jacob, shooting from his shoulder through his entire body. He knew that he had to get up, had to get away before the others reached him, but he couldn't bring himself to move and the other wolf began to shake his head again.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry, I love putting Jacob's life in jeopardy and ending the chapter, don't I?


	3. How The Other Half Lives

Ringing. Wesley was waking up because of the annoying ringing that filled his ears. He reached out and pounded the air next to him but his alarm clock wasn't there. Wesley sat up as disorientation hit him and he looked around his front room. Wesley massaged the crick in his neck that he'd gotten from sleeping at an odd angle as his phone rang on. Did he unplug his answering machine?

The phone rang again and Wesley got up, walked over to his cordless phone. He pushed the talk button, put the phone to his ear, and heard a dial tone. Wesley brought the phone to eye level and glared at it as if the person who hung up could see him.

_Ring._

Wesley jumped slightly and raised the phone to his ear again but it was still giving him a dial tone.

_Ring_.

His mobile was ringing in his jacket pocket. Wesley clicked off the phone, threw it onto the couch behind him, and walked quickly over to his jacket.

_Ring_.

He searched through his jacket pockets, slipped on a piece of glass in his stocking feet, and fell with a crash onto the floor.

_Ring_.

Wesley picked himself off of the floor and saw that he had scratched a deep gouge into his arm. He brushed off the blood and glass and winced painfully.

_Ring_.

Wesley found his phone in his pocket and...

_Ring_.

flipped it open.

"What?!" Wesley barked hoarsely into the phone.

"Sorry to disturb you sir," a random voice said to him over the phone, "but Mr. Angel has insisted we get a hold of you right away so-"

"Oh did he," Wesley interrupted with a sigh.

"Yes, sir. Mr. Angel asked that you come to Wolfram & Hart right away, sir."

"Ah, yes, anything for 'Mr. Angel'," Wesley said sarcastically.

"Sir," the lackey said, "where are you?"

"I beg your pardon," Wesley said indignantly.

"Your location," the lackey said loudly.

"I will not answer that and you should-"

"I've been expressly instructed to determine your location, sir," the lackey said, "by Mr. Angel ."

"Well," Wesley said quickly getting angry, "if it's for 'Mr. Angel' of course. 'Where am I'? Let's see, last night I went to a bar and picked up _some guy_ in a pub, one thing lead to another, and the next thing you know my mobile is ringing and I'm laying in a bed next to him completely starkers. Right now, however, I'm on my way to the fabulous Wolfram & Hart and we can finish talking about my fabulous sex life when I get there. Bye," Wesley said in a falsely cheerful voice and snapped the phone shut.

Wesley gripped the phone tightly so he didn't throw it. Angel wanted to know where he was but didn't want to waist the time doing it himself. Mopey Wesley was gone, replaced by an angry, ready-to-rip-Angel's-head-off-and-watch-Angel-turn-to-dust-in-front-of-Wesley's-eyes Wesley. If this was how Angel was going to play with Wesley, then Wesley was going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Wesley looked over at the clock on his wall. It was just after sunrise. Wesley decided to take a shower before heading into the office. What could be a 'situation' directly after sunrise? What? Was Nina still a werewolf?

Wesley chuckled at that thought and trudged off to take a shower.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angel hated to be the bearer of bad news and having to be the one to tell Nina she was now a werewolf was _bad_, bad news. Then to have to admit he was a vampire and that all of the bad things she was taught weren't real, are real. It was too much for most people to deal with but Nina seemed to be doing fine, or as close to fine as she could be considering...

Angel decided that Nina probably needed sometime to herself and wandered out into the lobby where Fred and Dr. Royce were waiting.

"How's she doing?" Fred asked looking through the window at Nina.

"Oh, agreed to stay the night in the holding cell tonight, but she's pretty scared," Angel told Fred then directed his attention to Dr. Royce. "So what do we do now?"

"We wait for the show," Spike interjected appearing suddenly. "Should be a good one. Everyone on pins and needles, dreading the moonrise. Then pop goes the werewolf."

"I can't stop what's gonna happen. But I can keep her from getting hurt," Angel said ignoring Spike.

Angel was still angry at Spike for yesterday. Angel had seen how Spike hadn't left Wesley's side. Angel didn't know if Spike could tell what was going on between Angel and Wesley but he knew he didn't like Spike hanging around, constantly hovering over _his_ Wesley.

And Wesley was still his even though he'd promised to leave Wesley alone. Angel did it because Wesley had a thing for Fred. 'Had'. As if Wesley ever stopped liking Fred. Wesley still liked Fred, that fact had finally been hammered into Angel's head the way that Wesley had spoken jealously of Knox the previous night. Angel decided, at that minute, that if Wesley still wanted Fred so badly then Angel wouldn't stand in his way. Angel would let Wesley have a proper go at Fred and Angel wouldn't make Wesley stay with him just because Angel thought of Wesley as his. Even though Angel really, really liked Wesley, Angel did what he thought was right, noble. He did the noble thing for Wesley and let him go.

But last night Angel had still snuck off to stand on Wesley's balcony and watch him. Angel watched as Wesley sat and sat and finally started destroying his apartment. Angel decided that maybe Wesley did like him and enjoyed their time together and it was time to make their night time activities mean something more than just sex when his phone vibrated. Eve with important Wolfram & Hart business and Angel had to come immediately. So Angel had cast one final glance at Wesley and disappeared into the night.

"These first few transformations are the worst," Royce said bringing Angel back to the present. "Werewolf strength combined with disorientation and fear..."

"You mean, she could hurt herself?" Fred asked.

Angel wondered what Wes saw in her, she was all skin and bones. Sure she had big doe eyes but Angel had eyes too. What was it that made Fred so special to Wesley?

"Oh," Royce said drawing Angel back again, "I've seen 'em bang their heads against walls, claw at their own skin."

"We'll just have to tranq her," Angel said, "let her sleep through it."

"Well, that could work for tonight but, uh, over the long haul, bad idea." Royce said.

"Well, there has to be something," Fred said.

"They like familiar scents, images," Royce said. "Maybe if you took her home, let her get a few things, could have a calming effect."

"Fetching her blanky's not gonna make a bloody bit of difference," Spike said from behind them.

"Spike," Fred said and turned to face him, "really not helping."

"I'm just saying," Spike continued, "the girl's a killer. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but she will get out of that cage."

"Not if she doesn't want to," Angel said.

"Oh she'll want to," Royce chimed in. "It's unfortunate but..."

"And when it's not that time of the month?" Spike continued again. "She'll be wracked with the guilties. What with a soul and all."

"Didn't seem to bother you," Angel snit.

"Oh, it's been nothing but a pain in my-" Spike said and faded away again.

"Finally," Angel said and turned back to Royce. "I'll take Nina by her house."

"Angel," Fred interjected, "it's the middle of the day. Unless you plan on waiting in the car..."

"Take security," Angel instructed her. "In case she changes her mind."

"Excuse me, Mr. Angel!" A sandy blond haired man of about twenty four called to Angel. Angel recognized the man immediately. He had been waiting for this lackey all morning. This was the guy he told to get in touch with Wesley, find out where Wes was, and get him back to Wolfram & Hart.

Fred looked at Angel. "Go ahead. I've got something I need to take care of." Fred nodded and went into Angel's office. Angel walked over to where the man was standing, by Gunn's empty office.

"I got a hold of Mr. Wyndam-Pryce per your request," the lackey said in a hushed tone.

Angel almost snickered at him. He still got a kick out of hearing people refer to his friends by their sir names and a title of respect. "And," Angel said crossing his arms over his chest, "what did you find out?"

The lackey reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. He straightened it and began reading from it.

"Akhm, I called Mr. Wyndam-Pryce at his home number and let the phone ring twenty two times. No answering service of any kind picked up so I didn't leave a message. I then called Mr. Wyndam-Pryce's mobile and let it ring six times before it was answered by Mr. Wyndam-Pryce-"

Angel sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "The point is coming right?"

"I informed Mr. Wyndam-Pryce that his presence was required at Wolfram & Hart and Mr. Wyndam-Pryce said he was on his way. I asked Mr. Wyndam-Pryce where he was since he didn't answer his home phone and Mr. Wyndam-Pryce told me that he was at a gentleman's house where he had spent the night." The lackey looked over his paper again before looking up at Angel with a self satisfied smile.

"He said what?!" Angel asked loudly. The lackey's smile dissolved and he began fidgeting with his paper nervously.

"His exact words, sir, were: 'I went to a bar and picked up some guy in a pub, one thing lead to another, and the next thing you know my mobile is ringing and I'm lying in a bed next to him completely starkers'. That means naked, sir." The lackey said quickly and flatly.

"I know what it means, you-"

"Angel," Gunn called and walked over to the two of them with a number of files in his hands. "You're just the person I wanted to see."

Gunn clapped Angel on the back and gave the lackey a look that said 'get lost'. The lackey handed the paper slip to Angel and took off towards the elevator. Gunn walked into his office and sat down behind his desk. Angel followed him in slowly. Gunn opened up a file and motioned Angel over, he handed Angel a pen and pointed to a line in the file.

"You sign this, we're all set to return McManus's body over to his family," Gunn said.

Angel signed the paper and walked over flopping himself heavily into a chair.

"They've made arrangements to transport his body back to..." Gunn trailed off when he noticed that Angel wasn't paying attention, "the north pole. Turns out he had a close personal relationship with Santa."

Angel wasn't listening, he just kept thinking back to what the lackey had told him. Wesley met another guy? Wesley picked up some guy at a pub? On some level Angel could handle Wesley wanting Fred more than him because that meant Angel was still the only guy Wesley had ever been with. That maybe Angel meant something because Wesley had done something with him that Wesley wouldn't do with any other guys. That maybe Angel was special to Wesley and the only thing that made Fred better than Angel was the fact that she was a girl. But now, if Wesley had picked up some random guy then that meant that Wesley just didn't like Angel.

Angel could still remember why he had started it with Wesley that night. Angel had been unable to sleep and was sitting up thinking. He thought about when he became Angelus and told Fred that Wes was almost perfect and if he swung that way... then later when Angel was sitting on Wesley's bed. Just sitting there, face to face with Wesley, Wesley radiating heat and practically naked, smelling so good, so alive, and letting Angel devour him with his eyes Angel thought 'why don't I swing that way?'

Wesley had reacted almost the exact way Angel expected him to. Wesley tried to put some space between them but Angel had a feel of how warm and soft Wesley's skin was, and Angel wanted more of it, needed more of it.

When Angel trapped Wesley against the wall with his body the fear that radiated off of Wesley was intoxicating. Angel had to fight from slipping into game face and biting into the soft, alive flesh of Wesley's neck and drinking from him. Angel had settled for a kiss, a kiss that Wesley neither stopped nor continued.

Angel pulled away and told Wesley that he would be coming back the next night, he didn't ask. Wesley was Angel's, had been for some time, Angel just hadn't claimed him. But with that tiny kiss Angel claimed Wesley as his own. Angel wanted to own Wesley, anyway Angel saw fit, claim him as no mortal lover possibly could. Angel wanted to bruise Wesley, scratch Wesley, mark Wesley as his own.

But, Angel realized, he couldn't be what, who, Wesley wanted and Angel let him go. Angel let Wesley go so Wesley could go after Fred or some other girl. But not a man! Wesley couldn't have another man! Angel wouldn't allow it! No man shall touch Angel's Wesley and live!

"Angel?" Gunn said.

"What?" Angel asked. "Um, I'm with you. Turning the body over to... Santa?"

"Angel," Gunn said in that patented 'I'm on your side' patronizing tone they reserved for spooked clients, "you saved that girl's life. If you hadn't gotten there when you did-"

"The werewolf would've killed her," Angel said. "I know. Doesn't change what she's gonna have to go through."

"Well, that part sucks, no doubt but... you did everything you could."

"You know what Gunn," Angel said coldly, "don't need a pep talk right now. Just do your job."

"Right," Gunn said curtly and grabbed the files from his desk. "I'll just go do that... someplace else."

Gunn walked out of the office and Angel thought about calling out to him, telling him he was sorry and telling Gunn he just had a lot on his mind but just decided to let Gunn go. Better to be alone so Angel could brood, it's what Angel did best.

"Whoa! Watch it there," Lorne called after Gunn and walked into the office where Angel was sitting. "Just passing by and got splashed with a heap of grouchy. Got to tell you, Angelkins, that extra weight is not looking good on you."

Angel looked down at himself slumped in the chair. _Great_, he thought,_ that is why Wes doesn't want me_.

"I'm talking about psychic pounds, pumpkin," Lorne amended. "Why don't you consider me the _Jenny Craig_ for the soul, huh?"

Angel didn't say anything, he wondered if Lorne knew about him and Wesley. Lorne should know he was empathic, of sorts. Lorne probably sensed it the moment Angel walked into work the day after Angel' had kissed Wesley. But Lorne hadn't said or done anything that made it seem like he knew. And if Lorne didn't know then Angel wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

"So let's hear it," Lorne said.

"I'm not gonna sing," Angel said sternly.

"Couldn't bear it if you did," Lorne said. "No, it's talking you need... or maybe a shoulder to-"

"I'm not gonna cry either," Angel said quickly.

"I was going to a leaning place," Lorne said. "Okay, Atlas, How about a shrug? Look so you got the weight of the world. It's a burden, sure, but breaking news it ain't."

"Listen, Lorne, this isn't a good time," Angel said.

"No," Lorne agreed, "it never is. Spike showing up your first day in the Wolfram & Hart saddle took the jolly right out of the rancher. We've been feeling it ever since then, Angelcakes."

"Okay, so it's no secret. I don't like the guy," Angel said trying to end the conversation quickly.

"Like him, don't like him, that's up to you. You're fighting so many enemies around you, Angel, your punches are getting sloppy, and we've got the bruises to prove it. We're operating in unfriendly territory, champ. I don't want you to forget about the people covering your back."

Lorne looked at Angel for a moment longer and then left Angel alone.


	4. Interruptus

_Welcome back to Wolfram & Hart, Wesley_. Wesley thought to himself as he stepped off of the elevator. He practically bounced over to his office and ginned at everyone on the way, from Harmony the hapless vampire to some random girl arbitrarily walking around the lobby.

He bounced over to Gunn's office and got halfway through his greeting before he realized Gunn wasn't there.

"Angel?" Wesley said and looked around Gunn's office as if any moment Gunn would jump out from somewhere. "Have you seen Gunn about lately?" Wesley remembered to smile broadly at Angel.

It took Angel a couple of seconds before he answered and Wesley was sure that Angel was smelling the air. Angel was trying to pick up the scents on Wesley, trying to smell the mystery man Wesley 'took home' last night.

"No," Angel exhaled loudly. "No, not since... not for a while."

Wesley nodded and walked over to his office and got just inside the door before he remembered that he was called in for some special problem. Wesley turned around and almost ran directly into Angel.

"Oh," Wesley called out and took a few steps backwards to put some distance between he and Angel.

Angel walked forward while Wesley took two more steps backward until Wesley was standing next to his desk. Angel shut the door behind him and took a step towards Wesley.

"By all means, please Angel; come in," Wesley said sarcastically.

"Are you bruised?" Angel asked.

"What?" Wesley asked.

"Are you... have I bruised you?" Angel asked and took a small step towards Wesley.

Wesley wanted to laugh out loud. As if Angel could be that rough with a mortal and leave them unscathed.

"Many times, on separate occasions," Wesley said.

"I meant metaphorically, or symbolically, or... I don't know," Angel sighed. "Do I treat you like the enemy?"

Wesley's brain scanned idly through every time Angel had kissed him so hard it hurt. Every time Angel had taken Wesley so hard he could barely sit comfortably afterwards, or when Angel would bite him so hard he wasn't quite sure if Angel hadn't vamped out. Every time Angel had scratched him or left any kind of mark on Wesley's body and then left. Wesley thought back to every time Angel just got up and walked away from him without a second glance or a word.

"Sometimes," Wesley admitted quietly. "But not on an occasion that I could recount here."

"I wanted to talk to you," Angel said and took a step towards Wesley, "about Nina."

Wesley rolled his eyes and began shuffling the papers on his desk. "I honestly don't care," Wesley said.

"Wes," Angel said but Wesley didn't turn to face him or stop ruffling the papers on his desk. Angel gave a growl and in a flash Angel twirled Wesley around and pinned Wesley against his desk. "What I did, at the park, between you and me, it wasn't about her."

"Well, that's a relief," Wesley said sarcastically.

"You wanted Fred, want Fred, I just thought that I was forcing you to stay away from her because I want you so much. And I couldn't justify it because why would what I want be more important than what you want?" Angel's hands started rubbing small circles on Wesley's lower back. Wesley willed himself not to lean into the touch. Wesley kept telling himself that this was more of Angel's punishment and he wouldn't play into it.

"You don't know what I want," Wesley said, as it was the only thing that came to mind.

"I know," Angel said. "You know, sometimes, when she looks at me ―Nina― when Nina looks at me, a look somewhere between affection and admiration, she makes me think of you. When she looks at me... it makes me miss you, and I want to, well do this-"

Angel leaned forward and kissed Wesley on the lips. The kiss should have been quick and chaste, standing in the middle of Wesley's office as they were, but it was slow and... passionate. It was the first time Angel had kissed Wesley with anything besides need. It made Wesley go all warm and fuzzy, from his head to his toes.

When Angel pulled away it took Wesley a couple of seconds to regain his composure and focus his lust filled eyes.

"So," Wesley said, "what you're saying is that when Nina looks at you..."

"When Nina gives me this look ―a look," Angel clarified and tried to replicate the look causing Wesley to chuckle and Angel smiled at him. "When she gives me that look it makes me miss you and-"

"It makes you horny," Wesley said bluntly.

"For you," Angel stated. "It makes me want you, not her. I want you."

Wesley could feel a smile start to tug at the corner of his mouth. In all of the time Angel had been coming to him Wesley had never heard Angel say he wanted him. Wesley just thought he was a convenience. Something warm and close to home, but to hear Angel say he wanted Wesley...

Wesley gave up and let the smile grace his face, he decided that he didn't care if this was a trick; he was falling for it, falling for Angel. Wesley wrapped his arms around Angel's neck and they both leaned in for another kiss but just as their lips met the phone rang.

Wesley sighed loudly and looked over at the phone then back at Angel. Angel kissed him quickly and let him slip away to answer the phone. Wesley picked up the phone and held it to his ear.

"Research and Intelligence, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce speaking," Wesley said. Angel chuckled and Wesley stuck out his tongue at him.

"Good, Wes, you're in your office," Fred said and then came barging through the doors with Gunn in tow. "We weren't sure because your door was closed," Fred said still speaking into her cell phone.

"Yes," Wesley said into his own phone, "usually when I'm not here I leave the door open."

"Oh," Fred said, "right."

"Is there something," Wesley said into his phone then scoffed and hung it up. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Fred looked at the cell phone in her hands and rolled her eyes then closed it quickly. "Someone took Nina," Fred said quickly.

**A/N**: Sorry this is taking me so long. The next part will be longer, promise. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	5. Every Story Needs A Happy Ending

****

¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤

**__**

A/N: Bear with me here till the end. It might be rocky. My muse has run off with my sense of humor so I'm alone in this.

****

¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤

"And she's loving him with that body I just know it. And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night. You know, I wish I had Jessie's girl. Oh, I want Jessie's girl. Oh, oh, oh, Jessie's girl," Dr. Royce sang.

Lorne turned towards Angel, who stood in the doorway that separated Angel's office with the conference room Lorne was listening to people sing in, and gave Angel a thumbs up. That meant Dr. Royce was clean, Royce didn't have anything to do with the kidnapping of Nina. Which meant they were back at square one.

Angel silently cursed, again, whoever had stolen Nina and he vowed to get her back and inflict some major pain on the kidnappers. Not so much for Nina as because Angel and Wesley were getting somewhere when they were interrupted. Angel had almost worked up the nerve to tell Wesley that Willow had altered his curse a little when she restored his soul. Ha, a _little_, like a hundred years is a _little_ while. 

Angel could be happy, get happy, experience perfect happiness and not lose his soul. Or at least that's what Angel had found out by branching as far as he dared into the realm of happiness. Angel knew he didn't **_love_** Wesley but he did care deeply for him and every time with Wesley was like playing Russian roulette with his soul.

Angel just wanted to be able to finish his unfinished chat slash impromptu make-out session with Wesley. He wanted to tell Wesley he 'cared deeply for him' so they could move right along to the mind blowing sex and then the cuddling. Out of all of the people Angel had fucked or made love to (however you want to say it) he had never cuddled afterwards.

"Lorne's read the entire security team already," Wesley grumbled, "and the lab staff, as well as half of my department."

Angel walked into his office where the rest of his friends sat. He stood as close to Wesley as he dared, lest he lose control and jump Wesley right there.

"If the kidnappers had someone inside Wolfram & Hart, Lorne'll know," Angel said and moved closer to Wesley.

So close that if he wanted to Angel could reach out and the stroke the course stubble on Wesley's face. Or, pull Wesley up out of the chair, rip his clothes off, throw him to the ground, and screw him into the carpet.

"What if she was detected somehow," Wesley said, "before we found her?"

"Yeah," Gunn said, "but by who?"

"The scariest thing was how organized they were," Fred said from her seat next to Gunn. "Almost military."

Angel walked across the room while Fred talked. He was jealous of Fred, he realized. Jealous of the power she held over Wesley, the power she would always have. Even Angel letting Wolfram & Hart magick over their memories hadn't changed that. It had made Gunn and Fred's entire relationship, and subsequent problems, never happen but Wesley still wanted her.

"An underground monster-hunting military organization," Wesley said. "It's happened before."

"It's all my fault," Fred said for the thousandth time.

While Angel was jealous of Fred she was still a part of the team, a part of the 'family', and it was not at all her fault. Angel made the 'how is this all your fault' face and Fred explained.

"I was stupid."

"Anything happens to Nina," Angel cut her off, "it's on me."

"That's weird," Fred continued. "Why don't I just approach the mysteriously ajar door?"

"Stop with the mocking," Gunn sighed. "Get enough of that from blondie bear."

"Spike," Fred said anxiously. "Has anyone seen him-"

"Since he went poof?" Angel asked looking at Wesley and not Fred. "No."

"Uh, but it's been hours," Fred said and crossed the room to stand in front of Angel. "Angel-"

Fred started but was cut off by a knock on the door and Dr. Royce walking in.

"What do you got?" Angel asked Royce.

"Usual suspects," Royce said and handed Angel a sheet of paper.

Wesley got up and walked over to stand behind Angel. Very close behind Angel. Angel could feel Wesley's warmth radiating off of him, it seeped through Angel's clothes and at that moment Angel realized exactly how much he had missed being that close to Wesley.

It wasn't just Wesley's heat, or his surprisingly soft skin, it was Wesley. All of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches that made up Wesley. The steady sound of Wesley's heart and the way it picked up when Angel was close, the way Wesley moaned, whimpered, or cried out when Angel did something he liked. The taste of Wesley's skin, salty, tangy, human. The mixed scents of anticipation, desire, and the slightest hint of fear Wesley poured off when Angel touched him. And the sight of a naked, sweating, panting, moaning, achingly hard Wesley was something to die for. Wesley's body was... god Wesley was sexy. And now he was standing so close... so close.

"There's the sacrifices," Royce said snapping Angel out of his fantasy and Angel handed the paper over to Wesley, "wackos who want to rid the world of abominations, and werewolf packs looking for new recruits. Then there's the paranormal sporting groups."

"I'll be..." Fred said and took off out the door.

"Vampire hunting in eastern Europe. That kind of thing," Royce finished.

"Great," Angel said and cast a sideways glance at Gunn while silently working out a plan to get rid of both Gunn and Royce so he could at least tell Wesley about the curse. "Well thanks."

Royce smiled, nodded his head, and walked out of the room.

Angel ignored Wesley who was still pouring over the list in his hands and focused his attention on getting rid of Gunn. This would be tricky. Angel was still on shaky ground with Gunn from their previous conversation, or lack there of. Angel had to think of a way to make Gunn leave without ordering him to or making Gunn more angry.

"So," Angel said loudly and cleared his throat. He gave a quick look back at Wesley, who had stopped reading the list to look over at Angel, before walking over and sitting in the chair that Wesley had vacated earlier. "Gunn."

Gunn looked up at Angel from the book he was leafing through. "Yeah?"

Angel smiled at Gunn and looked back at Wesley for some kind of support but Wesley gave a silent chuckle and leaned against Angel's desk to watch what was obviously to become an Angel stutter fest. Angel scowled at the British man and turned his attention back to Gunn.

"McManus," Angel said quickly. "How did it go with that, it, him?" Angel stuttered and this time he heard Wesley chuckle.

Angel silently belittled himself for choosing a conversation topic and not a 'get out of my office and work on something' topic. But Gunn looked pleased that Angel was taking an interest in his work so at least, Angel thought, it wasn't a complete waste.

"I took those papers-"

"I think I found something," Fred said running into Angel's office and interrupting Gunn.

****

¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤

"You're right," Wesley said to Fred, "it's calendula."

Wesley, Gunn, and Fred were in Royce's office where Fred had 'found something' and clocked Royce over the head with a lamp. Wesley examined the blue liquid in the tiny vial while Gunn and Fred went through Royce's office drawers and paperwork making a right good mess.

"He must have known we'd have him sing for Lorne," Wesley continued.

"So he came prepared to block the reading," Fred clarified. "It's like taking valium to pass a polygraph test. I knew as soon as I saw the vial in the trash can."

"How'd you end up going through Royce's trash anyway?" Gunn asked her.

"It was... well, Spike." Fred said. "He led me in here."

"Yo," Gunn exclaimed, "here we go."

Gunn pulled up the bottom of a drawer he'd been fiddling with to reveal a secret compartment. There were a few polaroids, a knife, and some papers inside. Fred picked up the photos and began looking at them.

"Are they...?" She asked and looked closer at the pictures. "Ew!" She threw the pictures down on the desk. "We'll just... yeah, burning. Burning would be good for these."

Wesley picked up the large knife and commented, "not exactly an autopsy knife."

"You're not gonna believe this," Gunn said and both Fred and Wesley looked over at the small piece of paper he was reading.

"Oh, god," Fred exclaimed.

Fred took off at an almost a run for Angel's office leaving Gunn and Wesley to follow. They raced down stairs and stormed up to Angel's office just as he was coming out.

"I know where she is," he said.

"Angel," Fred said and held out the paper to him, "we found... It's what they plan to do to her."

Angel took the paper and read it over proclaiming, "It's a menu."

"Yeah," Fred said.

"Alright," Angel said and walked back into his office. He grabbed Royce by the scruff of his neck and marched him towards the elevator. "Let's go get her. Wes, Gunn."

Wesley and Gunn nodded. Wesley ran back to his office and grabbed hid gun, a tranquilizer gun, and a shot gun then returned to the elevator just as the doors were opening. They stepped inside and Angel pushed the lobby button.

"Good luck," Fred called belatedly as the doors closed.

****

¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤

They drove to a ritzy section of town and parked in front of a huge house. Angel had, after some prompting, told them the plan. As plans went it was one of those that only Angel could possibly come up with, well Angel or a five year old child. They'd use Royce to get in, pull out their weapons and kick ass until they free Nina and then run away.

It allowed for nothing, no snag in the plan and if there were any they would be shit out of luck.

They piled out of the car and walked up to the door. Royce knocked while they hid and in seconds someone slid a panel open on the door.

Royce didn't say anything and a moment later the panel slid shut and the door opened. Gunn stepped inside and punched the man behind it in the face.

"I'm all up in the law now," Gunn said, "but damn it feels good to get my violence on."

"Crane's not going to like this," Royce whimpered.

"If I were you," Gunn said, "I'd just be hoping the girl's alive."

"She has to be," Wesley spoke up, "at least through dinner. Once a werewolf dies it reverts to it's human state."

Wesley kept his gun digging into Royce's back as they walked into what appeared to be the main dining room and a number of guests were seated.

"You mean," Gunn said, "to eat werewolf, they got to eat her alive?"

"Evan," a balding man, who Wesley assumed was Crane, said to Royce, "you've brought guests."

"We're just here to pick up a friend," Angel said and Gunn cocked Wesley's shotgun then pointed it at Crane.

A few people screamed and everyone turned to stare at them. Angel hit a man in a chef hat with a tray and made his way over to where Nina was strapped to a table. Angel began extracting her from the table while she put up protest.

"Jeez," Angel said and ungagged her, "they garnished you?"

"No get away," Nina protested. Wesley fought the urge to roll his eyes, some people could be so melodramatic. "Just let them choke on me."

Angel walked over to a wall an grabbed a candle holder then walked back over to Nina and began to break the chains holding her to the table.

"Listen to me," Angel said, "tomorrow you're gonna be home."

"This is what I am," Nina said. "I can't go back there, ever. This is better."

"Nothing better about ending up in a doggy bag," Angel said. 

"What," Gunn asked looking down at one of the menus while keeping his gun trained on Crane, "no leprechaun soufflé?"

Crane scoffed, "there's no such thing as leprechauns."

Suddenly armed men came running out into the room and pressed their guns against the back of Wesley's neck and pointed one at Gunn's back.

"We've hit a snag," Wesley said to Angel.

"We're not leaving without the girl," Angel said and crept closer to Wesley.

"I'm willing to let my men die," Crane said, "can you say the same?"

Angel flicked his eyes in Wesley's direction.

"I go," Gunn said, "you're going with me."

"It's a risk," Crane said, "what can I say?"

"Probably should have told me to drop this," Angel said and threw the candle holder in the air and punched the guy standing in front of him in the face.

One of the security guards shot Angel and Angel fell backwards. Wesley flinched to move towards Angel. Even knowing that Angel was a vampire and that a bullet wound wouldn't hurt him it still freaked him out to see someone he cared about get shot. He was still worried he wouldn't get up again. 

Suddenly Nina turned and since she was loose she sank her teeth into the throat out of the nearest person. People started screaming, Angel jumped up, and Gunn elbowed the man behind him with the gun. Were-Nina went towards Gunn and he aimed the shotgun at her but couldn't pull the trigger and kill her. She knocked him down and proceeded to go in for the kill. Wesley pulled a tranq gun out and shot were-Nina. She went down and Gunn let out a sigh of relief.

"This is the part where we take our friend and go," Angel said.

"I'm afraid not," Crane said. "Thought tonight may not be salvageable, but my guests have paid a high price... some higher than others." He said and looked down at the dead man were-Nina had killed. "And I promised them a werewolf."

Were-Nina raised up suddenly and bit Royce's leg. Wesley shot her again with the tranq gun and she fell back again.

"And a month from now," Angel said, "you'll have one."

"NO!" Royce screamed and began begging for his life as Crane beckoned his people away from Wesley and Gunn. They drug Royce off screaming.

Angel picked up were-Nina and they put her in the car, then drove back to Wolfram & Hart.

****

¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤§¤

Angel invited them all up to his apartment the next day. He'd asked them to be there by seven. Then asked Wesley, personally, to be there a little early.

Wesley arrived at Angel's apartment at six forty-five. He wanted to be earlier but he was afraid of what Angel might want to talk about and didn't want to be alone with Angel for two long. Their previous conversation was leading up to something, Wesley could feel it, and now Angel had asked him to be early.

Wesley knocked on the door to Angel's apartment and Angel opened the door.

"Hey," Angel said.

"Hello," Wesley replied.

They stood there like that until Wesley looked around the hallway.

"Oh," Angel said and threw the door open wide, "come in."

Wesley muttered a thank you and stepped into Angel's enormous front room. He tried not to look as awed with the place as he felt. Not only was it huge but it was designed very modern. He couldn't understand how Angel could live there seeing as how he was so behind the times.

"I thought you would be here earlier," Angel said to him and shut the door.

"Yes," Wesley said, "sorry."

"I wanted to finish our talk," Angel continued.

"Right," Wesley said and walked further into the room.

"I was going to tell you..." Angel trailed off.

Wesley looked at him expectantly. They had seemed to be doing well before but that was back when it was a return to form, a return to the sex they both seemed to like. This was talking, this was a _personal_ conversation, and it was the _personal_ that made it awkward.

"Yes," Wesley prompted him.

"I was... Icaredeeplyforyou," Angel said in a rush.

Wesley nodded. "I care for you too," Wesley said, "you're a good friend-"

"More than that," Angel said and stepped closer to Wesley. "I care for you as more than that."

Angel had wanted to tell Wesley about the curse, about his soul, about everything but he figured that maybe this was enough for now.

"Oh," Wesley said.

'Oh'. It wasn't what Angel had pictured Wesley saying. This wasn't what Angel pictured himself saying, nothing was going the way he had meticulously planned it in his head.

"I want you to stay here tonight," Angel said.

Wesley looked surprised and Angel thought for a second he'd said the wrong thing until the faintest of smiles broke across Wesley's face.

"You want me," Wesley said softly, "to spend the night... here?"

"With me," Angel said as if this weren't already a given.

Wesley smiled at him and Angel felt happier than he thought he should be but he let that pass. He swooped Wesley into his arms and kissed him hard on the mouth. Wesley wrapped his arms around Angel's neck and kissed him back and it was hard, needy, passionate, all lips and the need to wrap up in each other and... perfect.

There was a knock on the door and Angel broke the kiss but didn't let go of Wesley.

"I should have come over sooner," Wesley said as Angel opened his mouth.

Angel smiled at him and kissed him quickly, chastely before moving away to answer the door. He put his hand on the knob but didn't turn it and looked back at Wesley.

"You'll stay then?" Angel asked.

"Yes," Wesley called over his shoulder as he walked further into the front room. "I am your faithful servant, Angel."

"That's my boy," Angel whispered to himself and let a big doofus grin slide across his face.

There was another knock and Angel opened the door. Lorne, Gunn, and Fred were standing outside.

"We didn't carpool," Lorne said and brushed past Angel into the apartment, "you just took so long opening the door that we all were there by the time you did."

Fred and Gunn walked in too and Angel shut the door behind them. They all walked into the front room and greeted Wesley then made jokes about how big Angel's apartment was and how every place Angel gets seems to be big and that maybe he was compensating for something...smaller.

Finally they all gathered by the floor to ceiling windows and looked out at the town.

"Mmm," Lorne said, "talk about a room with a view."

"Wow, is that the hotel?" Fred asked.

"Where?" Wesley asked and Fred pointed. "No, I think that's the center for scientology."

"Oh, right," Fred said. "They look nothing alike at all."

"I was starting to think we were never going to see the inside of this place," Gunn said and they all drifted away from the window.

"I'm sorry," Angel said. "I probably should have had you guys over sooner but I'm still trying to get used to the place myself."

"Look. At. This," Lorne said and wandered over to Angel's mini bar. "I'm home! Hey, cosmos all around."

"Sounds good," Fred chirped.

"Quite luxurious," Wesley said.

"Ah, it's not bad," Angel said from his seat on the couch.

"Don't mean to talk shop," Gunn said, "but Crane's bistro of the bizarre..."

"Out of business," Angel finished.

"Permanently." Gunn said.

"What if I have a craving for sasquatch soup?" Wesley joked.

"Is that something you English eat with your beans on toast?" Gunn asked.

They sat down in the two chairs opposite Angel.

"Mmm," Fred said, "you guys are making me hungry. Who wants chinese?"

"Long as nothing comes tar-tar I'm in," Gunn said.

Lorne walked over and sat down next to Angel and Fred shoved the take out menu at Wesley.

"No," Wesley said and held up his hand, "I'm too tired to make any decisions."

"Just order the usual, Freddikins," Lorne told her.

"I'm buying," Angel called out.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Lorne said, "hell just froze over."

"So.." Gunn said. "Werewolf girl. Think you got a shot?"

"She gave me a look," Angel said and looked over at Wesley.

"Really," Wesley said, "a look?"

Wesley and Angel held a look for a moment before the sound of Fred ordering broke through their personal bubble.

~fin~


End file.
